a wild shower

it feels like a year ago we were throwing this shower for my best friend Courtney...her bridal shower in August 2012.

then just a few months later (but actually almost 2 years later) another bridal shower, this time for my other best friend Arielle.

fast forward almost a year later to Valentine's Day 2015- being shown an ultrasound picture and me bursting into tears because the baby Tyler and Courtney had wanted and prayed for was a reality! as the first of my closest friends to have a baby, it has been such a joy and blessing to her about the bad times (and experience them by not being able to eat pizza around Courtney for a few months) and the good times (going from feeling Gage kicking to being able to WATCH him roll around her belly these past few weeks).

as much as they prayed for a healthy baby, I knew they really wanted a boy- so I was thrilled when they announced the gender to our friend group. a little too thrilled, as I cut this video short by accident.

the outfit I bought for them to open if it was a boy :)

there are so many people who love Courtney and Tyler, so we had a lot of minds working on ideas and hands creating this great shower! without further ado, here's some of my favorite pictures of Gage's "Where the Wild Things Are" shower.

Tami, Courtney's brother's wife/sister-in-law, made this cute outfit garland! including some personalized onesies for Gage.

Lisa, Courtney's mother-in-law, is a wizard with some nature and decorating simply but gorgeously.

the food table- Mary & Lisa did a great job coordinating all the food, especially the cute watermelon boat Mary made!

looking at this beautiful cake makes me giggle, because it was a Pinterest find that Tyler sister/Courtney's sister-in-law Lacey worked for a long time on and then the first attempt literally fell over inside the fridge. cake and frosting everywhere. it was so frustrating for her but all she could do was laugh! we ate cake as we decorated and they managed to make and decorate a new cake by the time of the shower and it all turned out great. delicious chocolate cake with buttercream and salted caramel frosting.

crown cookies baked by Arielle, decorated by me ;)

the proud grandmas, Mary & Lisa! featuring the great banner Courtney's sister-in-law Meggan made.

ladies on Tyler's side of the family

opening her many wonderful gifts for Gage!

ladies on Courtney's side of the family

Uncle Tyler- the soon to be dad1

Aunt Arielle & Aunt Lexi love you Gage!

I can't wait for this little boy to make his appearance any day now. I know he will have a lot of aunts and uncles in his life who love him, and I'm so grateful I get to be one even if it's not "blood" ;) 

a {tiny} home tour

I love looking at people's home tours on blogs. I find them on Pinterest, by way of other people's blogs, or wherever. these are some of my favorites- San Francisco styling  ; Florida sunshine ; & a Chicago apartment.

as I'm in the process of looking for a home to buy (ahhhh!), I wanted to remember & appreciate my apartment for what it is- a homey, simple, & beautiful place I love calling my own and filling with things that make me happy.

one of my favorite things- an old desk my brother abandoned after college works out perfectly as a coffee bar with storage space for mugs and room for all the important beverages. in winter nights, I keep the twinkly lights on & turn off most all other lights. makes for the coziest setting.

my small kitchen table covered with the contents of my first Downtown Toledo Farmer's Market trip. love these colors! I honestly only use my kitchen table when I have people over, a downside of my limited dining space. 

my gallery corner. it's changed from time to time whether it's a chair or this desk there. I love having my memories in one spot rather than scattered around the room. the frames add just enough color to my living room without being overwhelming. I've loved having my grandma's school desk in my apartment, & Chloe loves curling up behind it.

my bedroom is probably the 2nd least decorated room in my apartment, after my office/ catch-all room, but it's soothing & I like it. I kept my bouquet from my best friend's wedding and it's (faded but still) purple ties in with my bedding, which is both purple & gray. my only complaint about this room is the window being so high up. but I am lucky to have a good sized bedroom in an apartment.

 my major problem with jewelry, scarves & purses is I have SO many- I forget to wear/ use them. I solved this problem for my necklaces by hanging a curtain rod on the wall by my bedroom door, so they're displayed.

  

I didn't have a closet in my last 2 residences, so I got this cheap hanging rack from Ikea. now, it's a lifesaver as I plan my outfits a week ahead of time. it makes it much easier to get up at 6:30 in the morning when I know my clothes are all laid out & ready for me to just grab & go. I look at the forecast for the week ahead & go from there. may seem a bit too much, but organization makes my life way easier.

& my favorite- my living room. I spend most of my time out here. I love having people over, & am always trying to add to my seating so I can have more spaces for people. while I parted ways badly from my previous roommate, she left me with the beautiful gift of transforming my hand-me-down dresser (once white- then black) into a brilliant red that ties my whole room together. I love you chalk paint. 

& that's basically it. aside from my not-worthy-of-photographing office, bathroom & copious amounts of closets, that's my home. I love living here, I love being able to walk to downtown Perrysburg in 2 minutes, & I love the safety I feel here. but I'm definitely excited to find a house & make it into my home.

dear introverts & extroverts- an open letter from an ambivert

I've been seeing a lot of blog posts, Buzzfeed articles and other links flooding Facebook about "99 Thing Only Introverts Understand" and "Why I Hate Loud People" and the like (jk NO ONE could ever hate loud people). don't get me wrong, I love reading these things because parts of me can identify with introverted people- I need my alone time, I don't like loud places, etc. but when I went to look up the same type of articles about extroverts, I didn't find as many or as interesting of results. I also continue to see a lot of talk about the newest personality type, the Ambivert. I am completely convinced this is real, and it is me.

the definition of ambivert- a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features.


7 things I want you to know about being both quiet and loud.

1. I love talking. obviously. but I also love YOU talking! I'm a great listener and truly enjoy hearing about other people's lives. I hate the stereotype that because I talk a lot I can't listen well.

2. silence is also golden to me. my job involves me talking- a lot- all day, to coworkers, clients, providers, babies, etc. even though I LOVE talking- I enjoy the quiet when I'm finally home.

3. silence among friends awkward. there's a difference between a long car ride that can be filled with periods of silence, and sitting with a group of 5 people who aren't talking wondering who will break the silence (oh wait that's me).

here is a graph of how I spend my time during these silences-

4. I am not afraid to go to an event alone, or go out to eat or to the movies alone. but I also would prefer to do those things with people.

5. being around people fills me up. being around my cat also fills me up. having a game night fills me up. have a Netflix night also fills me up.

6. I resent the way I've always been told I need to marry someone just like my dad (love you though)- someone quiet who will let me just talk and talk. I want an equal- who keeps up with my conversations!

7. be who you are- intro, extro or ambi. I think God blessed me by being quietly loud. I am gifted with new friendships all the same who are the exact opposite of me- quiet, seeing the other side of situations, forgiving, and gentle- and I am aware of the characteristics about them I want to strive more towards. but I'll never regret being opinionated or loving to talk- because I'm glad God gave me the gift of conversations :)

how to love

feel free to play this in the background as you read. or don't. I know it's Lil' Wayne but it's the "clean" version. and surprisingly this song is one of the reasons this post has been in my mind forever.


music as you read


I started attending a young adult group at CedarCreek about five months ago. it was the kick I needed to stop living with just my head knowledge of God and my faith and start really living it out again. I started out feeling jealous of others in the group who have had a crisis that drew them to God and allowed them to have this "wow" moment where God showed up in their life. I've been a Christian since I was 5 years old- there hasn't been a "wow", in my mind, at any time in those years.

God shows up in big ways when you let Him.

my "wow" is not one big event. it's been a series of reminders and lessons that keep flooding in since I started actively pursuing God again. it's seeing other people go through the EXACT situations I've been through and being able to be there and encourage them (hopefully) and love on them. it's realizing my OCD- type A self had to let go of my "plan" and be open to God's perfect one.

the biggest lesson I'm learning is how to love. so thanks Lil' Wayne for some help with this.

you had a lot of moments that didn't last forever.

the first time someone told me they loved me, romantically, I was 14 years old. I felt my heart literally fill everytime I heard those precious words. I was important, someone's, loved. I also felt the horrific crush of your feelings when that "love" was ripped away from me. I now see how messed up that situation was- I see my 15 and 16 year-old brothers and am so grateful they haven't experienced that yet and I pray my 11 year-old sister continues to stay away from boys :)

after that first failed relationshp, I quickly gave my "love" to everyone who wanted it. I was always the first to say those words, which makes me shudder now as I never understood their weight- I'm still working on that even now.

you had a lot of crooks try and steal your heart, never really had love couldn't ever figure out-

by that time the only love I felt was from men. I know my parents love me and always have, but I was too stubborn to feel it as I had hurt them and pulled away too many times. I had friends but our friendships were always up and down, and sometimes only existed out of convenience. the only time I ever felt loved was when a guy told me those words- their opinion was the only one that mattered.

by the time my last relationship ended I was thoroughly devastated. nothing prepares you for the emptiness you feel when someone who was a part of your life for 3 years severs your ties in one fell swoop (I've felt similar pain about friendships as you know from this post).

almost 3 years later and I was finally happy- but not fulfilled. I still felt alone. I still craved being around my friends because the emptiness went away with laughter. when I look back on all those feelings of loneliness and sadness, I see so clearly how God needed me to be empty so I can be filled.

I can still remember being 14 years old, telling my parents "he told me he doesn't love me anymore", and being told "if he could stop loving you like that, he never loved you". brutal for my teenaged self- but true. at 24 I'm still learning everyday, but I know now it wasn't love. I've never been loved like God means for me to be. rather than feeling crushed by that, it excites me knowing how much love He has in store for me- first His, to fill and complete the emptiness I've always had, then the added blessing of the husband He's working in and on the same way He's working in me right now.

that's my "wow".

how to love

dear 16 year-old Lexi

here are some things I wish I could have shared with you- but maybe just realizing them now is enough.

there's going to be friends you lose, make & keep. & more heartbreak & pimples than you ever saw coming. yes. you read that right. you make a lot of dumb decisions that end up hurting you- you never wash your make-up off at night. yuck.

the world is currently all about you. no, wait, it's not, but it's going to take at least 8 years to figure that out. I take that back, we're still figuring that out.

start running now! when you're older & finally decide to take it up it's soooo much harder. curse you & your lack of athletic ability.

I wish you weren't about to date the dumbest guy of your dating career, but you are. you won't listen to your friends either, who tell you for the first but not last time in your life that he's "not good for you". instead you'll embarrass yourself & hurt your parents horribly. then you'll be broken up with via a drunken MySpace message- don't worry about it, you're tough & quickly will get over him. & now you laugh about it with your parents.

thanks for focusing on your friendships then. you settle down with the 2 girls who will be with you through the beginning of the next bad relationship, & even when your friendship "breaks up", you get back together. I can't imagine how your life would have turned out without having them as your people.

you know how Mom always asks for "obedient children" for Christmas every year? I wish you would have given that to her. you won't see how valuable a gift that would have been until you watch your teenage brothers go through the same power struggles & fights with her & wish they would listen although you never did. although some of their fights are valid points. just OBEY, boys. also I love you. but you're teenage boys sooo you're gross.

remember how cute this little girl is. not just any 3 year-old would let you make a mask out of raw egg, honey and oatmeal and put it on their face. she did so & smiled for a picture. almost 10 years later you'll miss holding this little girl & will still try to cuddle her even though she's almost as tall as you. when she talks to you you'll find yourself staring at her face & wondering when she lost her high little girl's laugh & baby voice.

be nicer. just do it. years from now adults in your life will remind you of how "bad" & "hurtful" you were as a teenager. it sucks hearing that. there's nothing you can do to change the fact that you were a mean girl in high school- just remember what you were & what you'll become.

you never lose that death glare though. as an adult, it's now called "resting female dog face", but you never lose it. guys will tell you to smile more your entire life. maybe you'll listen one of these days. probably not.

stop plucking your eyebrows so thin. listen to Mom.

enjoy the fact that you have a face as smooth as a baby's bottom. don't gloat about it, however- your teenage acne hits hard in your 20's. stupid karma.

stop crying so much. before you're 20 you will probably have spent the equivalent of 30 full days just BAWLING. over guess what? boys. that's dumb. go volunteer at a homeless shelter. babysit somebody's kids. do something that makes you realize how trivial a& small your struggles are in the grand scheme of things.

you should probably have done a lot more school, as in enough to technically graduate high school, but fortunately you'll graduate college with honors just fine even without a fake home schooling diploma.

this girl will still be in your life 8 years later. even though you're a couple years shy of dating her ex-boyfriend. even though you flippantly think it won't damage your friendship with her. luckily your long-distance friendship outlives that ill-fated long-distance relationship and you'll continue to be best friends from 493 miles away.

one day years away from your 16 year-old life filled with a new job at Bob Evan's, fighting with your girlfriends via e-mails and IM messages, trying desperately to be "loved" by any boy, you'll get to work with teenagers. remember your world at their age. remember that the big picture didn't exist & your problems were the most important issue in your life. be kind, be soft, & realize this is maybe your way of giving back for all that you took in your selfish teenage years.

& seriously. wash your face every night.

"that's nothing"- & other pet peeves

happy 2015! I haven't blogged in what feels like a long time. even though in my head I blog daily.

I wanted to write about something that's been on my mind, & frequently bothers me.
how often do you have conversations like this?

"I'm so swamped at work. I just put in a 10 hour day and work another 10 hour day tomorrow."
"oh that's nothing- I worked 10 hours but then had to go home, feed my kids dinner, make their lunches, do laundry & THEN I work a 10 hour day tomorrow too!"

or,
"I only got 5 hours of sleep last night & I feel sick."
"tell me about it, my mom said she was feeling sick. I slept for like 9 hours but OMGGG I have the WORST headache imaginable, I think I need to go home."

this is my face when that happens:

why is that socially acceptable? why is life a competition & whoever is most stressed & unhappy wins? when did we stop realizing that venting is healthy & normal & necessary for most people, & when you "top" their vent session it's like saying they have no right to feel the way they feel? do we need social etiquette training to teach us that it's appropriate to listen, nod, sympathize, & THEN move on to our own thoughts?

or maybe that's just me.

maybe I'm over sensitive. maybe you can blame it on my upbringing where I was listened to thoroughly & my hardships weren't weighed & measured (unless you count my parents forcing me to watch "What About Bob" a hundred times to convince me I'm not a hypochondriac like I thought I was every time I got sick). maybe you can blame it on my ex who waited until I was finished talking about my day & then gave me 10 suggestions of what I should have done differently in order to make my life "better". we could also blame it on the incredible class I took in college, the Listening Post, where I realized we all need to be taught to listen, or else this is what happens:

  anyways. I digress. feel free to flick me if I ever do this to you,                                             because it's truly one of the things I dislike the most.

other pet peeves include:

• chewing with your mouth open (gum or food)
• shaking hands
• fake laughs
• people who argue just to argue
• flirts
• smelly people
• passive aggressiveness
• people who are always "in a hurry"
• when you don't use your turn signals. CARS HAVE THEM FOR A REASON.
• lazy people

what did I miss that's most annoying? if you answer "Lexi", I'll chew with my mouth open while shaking your hand in a flirty way the next time I see you.