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| Brooklyn being adorable and sleeping past 7AM for once. |
I loved getting to read the responses of how fostering has impacted those closest to me. I asked them for both negatives and positives, and I received both negatives and positives! Much of what they sent me I already knew because it's been shared in our relationships, but I wanted people to consider how the support of someone's foster village can make or break their ability to take in children from the foster care system.
I asked for their opinions for a two-fold reason, however. I wanted to gauge how they felt about fostering because personally, I'm torn down the middle every day on how I feel. I watch how much Brooklyn loves babies and is so nurturing and I want to open my home up. I see the extra bedroom I have, multitude of baby supplies sitting in my shed and closets being unused, and I want to hear the phone ring with a placement call again. I know I am a loving parent and provide a nurturing home to babies, and I have more love to give.
But I also struggle with bedtime most nights and not having any time to myself- with only ONE child- and I think "no". I picture drop-off and pick-up at 2 different daycares each day in addition to my rigid work hours now, and sigh heavily. I worry that my wonderful daughter would suffer from sharing her only parent. Mostly, I can't imagine people saying "yes" to taking a 2 year-old as well as an infant to babysit, when it's hard enough to get babysitters now for just one- which is something in the back of my mind always.
Can I go to this new class at my church? No, who would babysit, it's on a weekend. Can I find a therapist to start seeing? When would I have time, there's not enough hours in the day. Will I be trained enough for the duathlon I'm doing in July? Who knows, I can't get out biking alone to test myself. And I think all of this with the catch-22 guilt that plagues me no matter how hard I try to avoid it- even if I had a sitter for these things, I'll be taking time away from being with my daughter when I'm already away from her more than I'd like during the week.
All this to say- I would love to foster again. I have until November of 2020 to foster again- if I don't accept a placement by then, my license will be revoked. But for me to foster again, I would need-
Help
Meals
Honesty
Strength
Patience
Flexibility
And another crib...probably.
