all my burners are on

I think I was in college when I first read this theory about life. basically, the idea is that life is like a four burner stove- you have your family, friends, health & work. ideally, in order to be successful in life you have to turn off one burner, & to be really happy you need to turn off two.

my first thought was complete agreement. I just had a home visit this week with a family & the mom was discussing with me her previous life as a single female employed full-time. she said "I worked 8 to 5, then went for a walk or run, & by the time I made myself dinner it would be 7 o'clock at night & I'd be ready for bed!" finally- somebody who gets me! I often envy my friends with husbands & kids, but my OWN single life is so busy & full it's hard to picture there being room for anything else.

so in college, I thought about what burner I'd turn off. I worked full-time in school, so that wasn't an option. I was in love & had good friends to relationships had to stay on. I had an on-campus rec center that I frequented & even though I didn't realize it back then, I was in the best shape of my life (until my 30's- I hope I get skinny when I'm 30...) I think what I finally cut was my family. college is such a different & difficult period of life that I excused myself from feeling family obligations & spent as little time at home as possible.

I honestly don't have very good or clear memories of my college years. it's a blur to think about now. I probably hurt myself more than I realized I would by distancing myself from my family, but thankfully some bonds are stronger than my immature 20 year-old self knew.

which brings me to present day (with a couple year lag in there...but these last two years also went by in a blur for me). I keep thinking about this stove analogy & how I'm ever going to turn off a burner. it's a daily struggle- I want to get to work early to put in a hard day's work, but I also want to go for a run after work, & I want to see my friends & spend time with my family. there. is. not. enough.

there will never be enough running on my own steam. or, gas. I have a gas stove.

what if, instead, I turned my burners down a little & relied on a power source outside my own control to carry me through? I wouldn't have to sacrifice my job I love, the satisfied way I feel after a hard run, the joy my friendships bring me when spending hours just talking to beautiful people who somehow love me, or the huge blessing of 6 people I was born into that accept me & grow me into someone I never thought I could be. let's not even DISCUSS the oven I have with a fellowship committee, Bible studies, worship team & Netflix all baking in it.

I like that better. all my burners are going to stay on. I'm going to live this life I love & by the grace of God, I get to do it all.

& I get to do it with this sweet kitty :)

*my literal stove only has 2 burners that work. anyone know how to fix gas stoves?

days on which you were born

I. LOVE. birthdays.

I have always felt that your birthday was a wonderful day- special just for you, when everyone celebrates that you are alive. I did not live in a "typical" family, where every birthday is cause for a huge party that people are expected to bring presents to starting with your 1st birthday (because everyone remembers their 1st birthday party, right?). I am super grateful that was not my upbringing because I think I treasure birthdays now more for the occasion that they are than the material side of them.

my first memorable birthday was when I turned 10, my Golden Birthday (for those of you who don't know- which in my experience is most people- your Golden Birthday is the day you turn the age you birth date falls on). for me, that was 10 on 10/10/2000. it was a rough year as my 3rd brother had been born, & new babies always brought a lot of change & a lot of attitude from me. I remember just wanting to spend my birthday with my Nanny because "she loved me more" than my parents. so I got my wish and spent most of my birthday with her, & then she brought me home to my house where I walked in on a huge surprise party thrown by my mom. everyone from our church was there, my family, & everything was golden to match the theme. I am blessed my parents put up with me.

I don't understand people who don't like their birthday- I always want people to feel loved & cherished on that day, for bringing happiness and friendship into my life (selfishly) but also because everyone deserves one day just for them. I have such fond memories of birthdays because I always do something to make it more than just another day.

when I was...
12...I went to breakfast with my dad & then he took me to a tattoo parlor to try & get my ears pierced
13...my mom threw me a sleepover party 
14...I threw myself a sleepover party & my mother announced I was too bossy for birthday presents ;)
15...my dad bought me a beautiful heart necklace- my first diamond
16...I got kidnapped by my Girl's Bible Study group who knew I needed a night out
17...I was an awful hormonal teenager so not much happened
18...I got my driver's license, then drove to get my nose pierced for the 1st but not last time ;)
19...I experienced "clubbing" in Bowling Green for the 2nd & worst time
20...I was in Mississippi with my boyfriend & I baked my own birthday cake
21...my 1st alcohol purchase was in Alabama where I spent my birthday weekend with said boyfriend
22...I spent my birthday week decorating for my best friend's wedding- & loved every minute
23...my ideal celebration came true- seafood followed by a sleepover party (see the cycle here?)

I hope all of you treasure your faith, your families, your friends, your jobs, your home, your church, your pets- & I especially hope you treasure your life & take some joy in your birthdays. if not for yourself, then for the lady who pushed you out of her.

some highlights of my 24th birthday week...

 beautiful moonlit sky on my drive home

 heck yes! gas has been super cheap around my birthday the past few years

both of my coworkers bought me cinnamon rolls, & one bought OJ as well after I told them about my siblings having a sleepover at my house the weekend before. they were helping me carry in groceries and their bags & blankets & then they shut my trunk, with me yelling "did you bring everything inside?" they assured me they had. I realized the next morning when I went to make breakfast they had let the bag of canned cinnamon rolls and OJ in the trunk.

what good listeners my coworkers are!

delicious apple cider bubblies with champagne for a birthday toast (& Arielle's face)