I should appreciate this, and I'm definitely trying to. I know the many ways life could be worse, and I'm trying to count my blessings- but lately the wistfulness is hard to keep at bay.
watching couples unload their kids from the car, dads carrying diaper bags, weekends full of plans because you always have someone to do something with.
so somebody remind me of this someday.
someday, I'm praying, I will be in those shoes. I see people who are overwhelmed with their family and their husbands' family both having get-togethers and I'm jealous. my family doesn't have frequent get-togethers, and it's been years since I've had to deal with another person's family's plans too. someday, I will have help getting kids into the car and will go to the bathroom on my own. I won't have to do it all on my own, even though I know I'm capable of it.
someday, too, I will have older kids who throw tantrums in public, who want to choose their own clothes instead of my precisely matching outfits, and my house will probably be a little dirty at times. I may be stressed by multiple people's schedules requiring juggling of time. so please remind me of m life right now. I may have to say no to social engagements when it would be too much for my kids or husband or our overall schedule.
quiet. stress-free. getting to dress my girl in whatever I feel like. having no one to hang out with on Friday nights, Saturdays, or Sundays because everyone else has their own families and plans. getting to decide last-minute to go to the Farmer's Market and buy fresh flowers because Bee is easy to take places. lonely. happy. wistful.
this is life right now, both the good and the bad. I just hope to keep enough insight in my life to remember this, and to embrace each stage of life for what it is- and maybe invite the lonely girl to spend time with my someday family- someday.
