Merry day after Christmas! I love the snow melting and seeing all my grass again even if it comes with rain :) Baby A and I are enjoying a day sleeping on the couch with movies.
yep- that's right. one short month ago I was writing about waiting and how slowly the process was going and how it felt like I would never have a placement, and now there's a baby sleeping on my chest while I write this. a few short weeks ago- just seconds after I put cupcakes in the oven for my best friends's birthday- I got the call to come pick up my first placement from the hospital.
life with a newborn has been fun! sweet, emotional, hard, sleep deprived- but so well worth it. I have to say that I honestly thought sleep would be much more difficult and she usually sleeps like a champ. she is healthy, happy and the biggest snuggle bug in the world- so much so that she wants to be held while she's awake and sleeping and while I eat, pee, cook, clean, etc. my work has been flexible and my family has been great watching her so she could stay at home away from daycare germs until she's a bit bigger.
there are 2 frequent conversations I've been having so I wanted to address those quickly.
1. I don't know how you do it, I would get too attached!
I am. I am 100% attached. I love this little girl so much. she's met so many people who also already love her tons. you have to be attached- would you want your child staying with someone who kept them at an arm's length if you couldn't be with them? the challenge is being emotionally stable enough to know how to say goodbye when it's needed. which leads to-
2. how long will you have her?
nobody knows. it could be 2 weeks or 2 years. I'm open to whatever length of time.
ironically, I've been getting ready to publish this for a few days but the holidays kept me busy baking and celebrating- and last night the first real rough spot hit. after a day full of Christmas, Little Miss ate- and wanted to eat again- and again- and again- and then stayed awake for over 3 hours till early in the morning. nothing would get her to sleep, and in the meantime I'm sleep deprived, overwhelmed and had an unsettled stomach (because chronic digestive problems yay). it hit full force then that I'm alone- I have a wonderful support system of family and friends who help SO much- but at 1AM, I'm alone. I know what I signed up for and I don't regret a second of this journey, but I definitely will continue to need my amazing community alongside me throughout it all!
I hope to not forget this newborn stage- both the negative with some sleep issues and worrying about her health, and the huge positives of all the sweet, sweet cuddles, no crying, and basic needs fulfillment. I treasure your thoughts and prayers as we continue Baby A's story!
